


To Love, To Let Go [Kuroo Tetsurou]

by solthesun



Category: Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Platonic Relationships, Timeskip Kuroo, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25895191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solthesun/pseuds/solthesun
Summary: His love for her is unconditional, and he learned to be happy for her.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsuou/OC, Kuroo Tetsurou & Reader, Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	To Love, To Let Go [Kuroo Tetsurou]

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this very random one shot I wrote :> I took a break from writing the series I'm working on (please check it out if you have time hihihi). This just came as an idea, and I thought I should write it down otherwise it'll be a waste of idea.
> 
> Please listen to She by Dodie while reading this! I hope you'll like it :>

Kuroo never knew falling in love was something like this. His first girlfriend had been in middle school; a girl who confessed to him, and he thought he felt the same. Young and naïve, they lasted 3 months. The next girl he met was in his last year in junior high; he liked her, she liked him, they clicked, but he liked volleyball more—and she had to move away. They lasted until the end of that year. Then his last, was when he had been a junior in high school. She was smart, sarcastic, and beautiful. She was nothing like the other girls he had fallen in love with. She was everything Kuroo had wanted and hated at the same time—contradicting and confusing, yet he loved her more than anything. They loved each other more than they had ever loved anyone, and they were such a perfect match. But don’t matches that burn the brightest flames, end up burning out faster than the rest?

After a bumpy ride of 2 years, they split. Kuroo wasn’t sure why, but they both decided they should. It was settled in their usual café, after weeks of not being able to talk to each other, nights spent sleeping than catching up, and realizing that they had other priorities to commit to. It was ironic, how they sat on their usual table, and Kuroo imagined the first time he had taken her there. She had still liked hot chocolate; sweet and with extra chocolate shavings. But when they last met, he remembers how she ordered an iced Americano, the look in her eyes just as cold as her drink, the words coming out of her mouth just as strong as her coffee. She was no longer the girl he had fallen in love with.

But Kuroo convinced himself that he could still love her, that he can still understand her and hold her like he would. But when he reached out to hold her hand, she had pulled it away, her eyes not meeting his at all.

“What’s wrong with us?” He asked her, and she couldn’t answer him.

“Things just aren’t the same, Tetsurou.”

He flinches every time he remembers how cold her voice was. Sharp around the edges, as if she had been sharpening it during the days he hadn’t spoken to her. And he looks at her eyes, searches for any sign of the flame that they once had when they first met, but he is met with the embers of a dying love.

And Kuroo knows it is over. She is gone.

The next time he sees her was on the news. One of the biggest names in the publishing industry. She works with Akaashi now, and she still keeps in touch with Bokuto and Kenma, but she hasn’t been talking to Kuroo ever since they split. He was happy for her, genuinely. It had always been her dream to write and publish books that she had loved reading. She had been in demand too, most best-selling books coming from her publishing company, some of them edited and proofread by her. Kuroo had been very proud.

He wished he could at least see her. Talk and catch up, it didn’t matter if they didn’t end up together—he just wanted to be in her life again. Ever since their break up, he had wanted to contact her, but he finds all his messages and calls sent straight to voicemail, until she had finally blocked him. It was torture, not knowing why she left. It ate him up during nights he was alone, and he questioned himself if he had been too neglectful of her. If he had spent too much time on volleyball that he had forgotten about her, but in the two years they spent with each other, Kuroo knew how much she loved him playing the sport. She had supported him through everything. And that’s why he had pursued it, even until college, even taking a business degree when chemistry was something he had adored. He wanted people to be connected through volleyball. He wanted to connect with her again through this.

But it seemed far-fetched, she was slipping further away from him, and he was stuck with this unrequited love. Regrets sometimes swarmed his thoughts late at night, but soon, he forgot about it. He forgot about her. Waking up in the morning didn’t mean having to check on her social media, or her blog, or anywhere that had her name. Working didn’t mean having to try so hard to connect to her again, he had focused on the part where he was going to lower the net for others, to be the one to connect people to volleyball.

He began to see himself in a different light, her figure slowly disappearing in his dreams. The loneliness that held him in the night slowly drifted away. The heavy weight on his shoulders lifted up and thrown elsewhere.

And that’s when he met **_you_**.

You were such a beautiful soul; so _warm_ , so _lovely_ , so _soft_. You were so kind, with that smile on your face that reminded him of sunrises and pretty flowers. With Hinata, you were both so bright, always beaming and chatting about the littlest things. Kuroo met you when you came to watch a game. It turns out you went to Shiratorizawa and had been a supporter of their volleyball team since then. It was through Ushijima that he had officially met you. You with your fire-like hair and the pretty white dress you wore. You were the epitome of spring; refreshing and it felt like Kuroo was given a new life.

You hadn’t hesitated to talk to him and to introduce yourself—an ‘amateur’ singer, you told him. But Ushijima had bluntly said you were better in singing than you were in high school, which was why you had been making money out of the hundreds of covers and original songs you post in your channel. You were living an independent life of going around the world, making covers in famous spots, uploading in your blog— _oh great, you were a writer, too_.

Kuroo already had his questions about why he liked you, but now he knew. You weren’t her, but your words were so much like hers. So intense, but yours were brighter—more positive. Kuroo almost slapped himself for comparing the two of you. He was sure you had your differences, there was no need for him to be like an asshole and compare two amazing women to each other. He couldn’t help but continue to stare at you while you spoke to the rest of the players you knew. You always had a smile on your face, always spoke so gently and kindly, and you seemed to get along with everyone.

Kuroo was content with watching from a far. He was happy to have at least met you, and surely one of these days you’d get to know each other more. **_He’d get to know you more_**. As you were talking, his eyes had traveled down to where there was something shiny on your left hand; your ring finger, to be exact. He almost laughed at himself bitterly (which he did, but mentally). Of course a woman like you would be with someone already. Whoever dated you surely was a lucky person. Kuroo had wondered what would it feel like if he had been married, too. Oh, but marriage wasn’t his top priority at that moment. It was getting to have a promotional video with Hinata Shoyo, to show the world that volleyball isn’t just a sport for the giants.

***

Fate seemed to love Kuroo, but despised him at the same time. While he was out for his usual jog early in the morning, he had spotted you in the café he usually went to for coffee. You sat by the window, laptop already on the table, a cup of coffee at the side and a notebook with writing materials just beside it. He could at least take this time to get to know you, right? Just to be friends—nothing more. So he went inside the café, the bell on the door ringing and the employees greet him a good morning. He orders his usual, before he proceeds to your table.

“Anyone sitting here?” He asks and you look up, then he secretly swoons at the sight of your bright smile.

“No, not yet. Sit with me, Kuroo-san.”

And he does. He sits in front of you and you talk about why you’re there so early even though he didn’t really ask. Kuroo was happy though, because that meant you were comfortable around him, so he listened to you talk. Then his coffee arrives soon, and he finds out you weren’t actually drinking coffee when he made you taste his cup, the gloss of your lip balm smearing on his mug, and he unconsciously places his lips on that same spot when he takes a sip.

“I’m never good with coffee. I try to drink, but it’s always with mocha, or milk, or literally anything else just to get the bitter taste.” You say as you take a sip from your mug, which Kuroo soon figures out as hot chocolate.

“Coffee has many different tastes, though. It’s not always bitter. It depends on the beans you get.” He explains, and you raise a perfect brow at him, teasingly.

“You seem to know a lot about coffee beans, Kuroo-san.”

And you find out he had been very interested in chemistry, and had wanted to take that major, but he ended up taking business. So he still uses his love for chemistry to do his ‘nerdy’ routine in the morning with his hobby of making coffee and trying out new drinks. He gets to know you more as well, how you were often just out of the country going on gigs and updating your blog, and how you had been engaged just a year ago. The last part had made his heart hurt a bit, but Kuroo finds himself smiling as he looks at you talk about this man you love.

And your eyes brightened ever so slightly when you looked behind him. And this was the part where Kuroo would meet the man who had taken the hand of his newly found dream girl. But when he turns around, his heart lurches in his chest, and time just seems to stop. It was **_her_**.

“Kei-chan! You made it!”

You called out her name with adoration and Kuroo seemed to have missed it. Her eyes were still strikingly beautiful. She looked sharper, more professional than she had ever looked back in high school. Kuroo’s throat suddenly became dry, unsure of what to say. She seemed unsure of what to say too, but the way she looked at him wasn’t as cold as it was the last time they had seen each other. She sits beside you, and you were suddenly typing silently on your laptop, glancing at the notebook beside you every once in a while. Kuroo didn’t know what else to say, but he knew deep down they both had to talk about some things. He didn’t even know you were friends with her.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I forgot you guys don’t know each other, this is Tatsunari Keiko-chan. Kei-chan, this is Kuroo Tetsurou-san, Shoyo’s friend that I told you about.”

Kuroo’s eyes meet hers again, and she nods, a small smile gracing her features.

“Yes, I remember.”

With that, you flashed both of them a smile and excused yourself to go back to your work as you put your earphones on. Kuroo and her are stuck talking to each other—he guessed.

“How have you been these days?” Surprisingly, she was the first to ask.

“I’ve been great, busy, but great. You?”

“I’ve been better.”

Kuroo notes the hesitance in her voice. Then they sit in silence again, quietly taking sips of their coffee. It lasted for a little while until you sighed and took off your earphones and stretched your arms.

“Bathroom break~ you both are too tense, calm down.” You joke as you walked away, a hop to your steps.

Then it was just the two of them. The questions Kuroo had forgotten came back to his mind, swarming like pests and making him feel things he had thought were all gone. He was confused, sad, angry, and underneath all that, hopeful. Hopeful that perhaps this was going to be their second chance at it. He just has to be open about it, he just has to be honest. He looks at her as her hand subconsciously holds onto a ring attached to a necklace. It looked oddly familiar.

“Keiko, I want to apologize, for before.”

That gets her attention, and she looks at him, her expression a mix of sadness and surprise.

“I know we went through a lot, and I realized after we parted just how I had been so neglectful of you, which is probably the reason why you left.” Kuroo continues, and she looks away before shaking her head.

Kuroo wanted to do this right. He wanted a do over. He wanted to start again—with her.

“I’m not going to make excuses, Keiko. Volleyball was important to me, it still is, and... and you’re still important to me, Keiko.”

That was when she looks up at him, surprise taking over everything. Kuroo notices how her eyes soften, and how they were glazed with the same fire he had seen when she would look at him during those years they were together.

“Tetsu,” she breathed, and he was hopeful. “That wasn’t the reason why I broke up with you.”

Kuroo urged her to say what it was about, that he would listen.

She sighs and continues.

“I realized something, Tetsu. I loved you, but I—“

That hurt when she said she had _loved_ him, not _love_ him the way he loves her to this day—it seemed. He urged her to continue, but you walked towards them already. You simply smiled as you placed your earphones on again and told the two of them to just continue talking. Kuroo takes that as a chance to pick up where had had stopped.

“Keiko—“

“I’m engaged, Tetsu.”

Kuroo wasn’t sure exactly what he felt at that moment; confused? Surprised? Just a mix of emotions that he wasn’t quite sure how to point out just yet. He wanted to be in denial—no, _he was in denial_. But there was nothing Kuroo could do if she was engaged.

“I see. Does he make you happy?”

And she glances beside her, you typing away in your own world, and Kuroo hints the soft smile that was once meant for him, given to you. _You_.

“Yes. Very.”

Kuroo’s heart clenches, in a way he didn’t quite understand, and he watches this fond look in her eyes blossom as you take off on earphone, and asked her a question. The way she had answered you so softly, and the way her eyes would linger at you for a second longer. Kuroo sees a different kind of love—a love he has never seen before.

“ _She makes me very happy, Tetsu.”_

And that was enough for Kuroo to get the closure he wanted—needed. And though it hurt, he knew he’d have to accept it. Surprised as he was, he knew there were things he overlooked before when he and her were together, and somehow he wished he paid attention to the signs as well. But he watched, simply as a bystander to that new love he had discovered, that she had a softness only she showed towards you. Kuroo felt at ease— ** _at least she will be happy_**.

Kuroo Tetsurou never knew love felt like this; to be fine at the face of letting go. He never knew love could continue even after years of not being together, even after he and her went on their separate ways again. His love for her was unconditional, and he learned to be happy for her.


End file.
